This book is obviously not to be taken seriously, but you really question that as you read the details and research that is done. It seems so real. Everything is thought of and mentioned in the book. Not just mentioned, explained, line by line of what must be done to steal priceless artifacts!
This book isn’t funny in a “ha-ha” kind of way. It’s more interesting and funny in the way that you would have to be insane to tempt to pull one of these schemes off. It’s also very educational. I never learned about the history of art in college the way this book has taught me.
It really goes over how to do basic thief things like how to pick locks, hack security systems, and master the art of disguise.
My favorite quotes from this book come from the last pages of each chapter, where, if you did the job correctly, you’re escaping with your prize.
How To Steal The Mona Lisa: and Six Other World-Famous Treasures by Taylor Bayouth – $10.35 SALE
“True freedom, of course, has no borders. Freedom is won slowly, meticulously. No matter how fast you push the engine of your rented escape vehicle; the key to your freedom is patience. So take it slow and enjoy dreaming about your new life, the life that’s yours once you’re able to liquidate your priceless gem into cold, hard cash. But bear in mind: There is a long and dark history of those who have possessed the blue Hope Diamond before you. You never know what lies ahead.”
“As you fly home with a package worth over $100,000,000 tucked in the overhead compartment (don’t worry, paintings aren’t illegal to travel with and cannot be discerned via x-ray), you will most certainly begin to daydream about your future. An enigmatic smile might creep onto your face. Your friends and colleagues will notice, they will wonder where this mysterious smile of yours comes from; they will wonder, but they will never really know. And you, you will just keep smiling.”
“As you wing your way homeward, relish the fact that one of the most controversial and valuable linking fossils ever unearthed is now yours. The Archaeopteryx wasn’t a dinosaur, it wasn’t a bird; it was something in between. And so are you, in a way. A tunnel thief: Not quite a mortal, but not quite a god either. Something more. Something evolved.”
“You are home free now – no one has any idea where you are or who you are. It’s your choice what to do next, but most likely you aren’t leaving Paris. Not with loot this cumbersome. Whether you can turn around this rare work of iconic sculpture in months or years is up to you. Just like The Thinker, you will have time to sit and ponder your next move.”
“As you drive safely within the speed limits, observing all traffic lights and stop signs, courteously allowing pedestrians the right of way, you may want to reflect on the rich life of King Tutankhamun before he was sealed away in his adorned sarcophagus. Countless servants to fulfill his every whim, the best chefs to prepare every meal, the most beautiful women available at the crook of a finger, massaged and pampered – with all he had, how strange that he died so young. Of course, with money and power come enemies. But then again, doesn’t everything?”
“Pity though it may be to dismantle this historic tiara, it will most likely reap you the greatest financial rewards to do so. But first, do place it on your own crown, gaze into a mirror, and picture the king’s life you will soon be living.”
“Gone are the days when you sat back waiting for your future to come upon you. Your future is now. It sits in the trunk of an ordinary car, heading down an ordinary road – one of the most famous and intriguing journals in the history of humankind. The mind of a painter, a sculptor, an architect, an inventor – scribbled out in backward handwriting and illustrated with careful craft – Leonardo da Vinci’s priceless manuscript. The jewel of a plan executed with a precision that would have inspired Leonardo himself. Congratulations on a job well done.”